Without warning, and in an instant, it begins. Sound, my first assailant.
Lungs inhaling, fabric stretching
Shoes on tiles and tongues clacking
Hinges yawning, fan blades bleating
What once was hushed is amplified, screaming ’til it sears inside
I am Discord
Touch urges me onward.
Sweat beading, stray hair dancing
Sleeves on skin and bra straps digging
Crumbs poking, small hands prodding
What once was soft is electrified, grating ’til it rubs raw inside
I am Agitation
Until anxiety is all I see.
Room spinning, lights whirling
Senses on fire and time accelerating
Heart racing, self control fading
What once was still is terrified, churning ’til it bursts inside
I am Chaos
Panic gets the best of me.
*Author’s Note
This is what an unexpected panic attack looks like for me. These kinds of attacks are not triggered by anything more than the most mundane, everyday occurrences. However, it is important to note that the spectrum of mental health struggles is vast and nuanced, and our experiences are uniquely our own. Even so, you are not ON your own. If you are in need of mental health help, please visit goodtherapy.org, psychologytoday.com, or mentalhealthamerica.net to find a professional near you and helpful information.
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